I’m having fun with these posts; I like pointing people towards the things I’m enjoying, sharing a little of what’s going on in my life, and talking about what I’m reading and writing without needing to write a whole blog post about it. It sums up the month for me. The idea is that they’ll come at the end of the month, and they hopefully won’t get old because I’ll have posted seven to eight other things each month, but it didn’t really work out like that in January. I was sick last week and feeling pretty out of sorts the week before that so I didn’t get anything done. (I had pelvic pain that landed me in hospital for an ultrasound. All is well, but last week was basically a write-off.)
Loving
I scored a Chic Sparrow notebook for Ecksmas and I adore it. Some things are a pleasure just to hold, and Chic Sparrows fall into this category. And the smell. Oh my god.
Reading
I finished off Storm of Swords I while in hospital overnight, so I’ve been working through The Count of Monte Cristo I. I started this last year and put it down at one point and never picked it up again. It’s actually a rollicking good time, and Dumas has a beautiful way with words. My copy is an old one I found in a second-hand bookshop years ago.
Watching
The West Wing, for about the 4th or 5th time. It’s particularly poignant at this moment.
Listening to
My tinnitus has been pretty bad lately, so I haven’t been listening to much music. Listening to the relentless ringing in my ears, I guess.
Thinking about
Oh, god. America. America, my friends. I am losing my mind here. America is giving me anxiety. I am terrified for you and for the world. I want to stay involved and up to date but holy crap… it’s a balancing act between trying to help and needing to take a step back for my own mental health. Every hour it seems like there’s something new to worry about and congress aren’t doing anything. Why aren’t they doing anything?! I wish I still had my anxiety medication, but I went off it last year.
Writing
I’ve been messing around with some poetry this last couple of weeks. I feel scattered and incoherent and poetry sort of twists that into something right. I have a germ of something I’ll post here next month once I can polish it up. Plus I’m trying to isolate something that I can work into eloquence and submit to Blunderbuss Magazine for their “Rebel Cities” issue. I like the sort of thing they publish, and one day I’d like to send them a short story I have sitting in the wings, but it’s not appropriate for this issue so it’ll have to wait.
Anticipating
It’s my birthday next week. I will be 31. I feel like a complete failure as an adult and a human being, and yet somehow at peace with who I am. For my birthday I would like cake and cocktails, thanks xoxo
Wishing
Please please please can someone get Bannon out of the White House (and if possible, into jail)? Please.
Making me happy
All these protests all around the world. The lawyers working pro bono in airport food courts. Seeing the good that people are doing for one another, for strangers. The great outpouring of support and love and bravery – that’s making me happy. I’m clinging to that. It’s giving me hope.