And just like that, my Honours year is nearly over.
The last push is meant to break you down. It’s meant to be tough, it’s meant to be panic and late nights and exhaustion. We’re tired enough already, and it’s just getting harder. A few weeks ago I was getting emails from the postgrad advisors talking about the mid-semester “break” in inverted commas. One of them was about managing mental health. “You have a rough few weeks ahead, so here are some things that can help.” Literally.
I’m reading more than I ever have before, and much of what I’m reading, I’m enjoying. I like slogging my way through tomes like The Work of the Dead; the subject interests me. But most of what I’ve been reading is in the form of articles, things that don’t get counted on Goodreads or added to the “books read 2018” list at the back of my planner.
At the beginning of this year, I waxed poetic in my journal (and here for that matter) about finally feeling challenged. There’s a lot of overlap between writing stories and writing history. History is just stories with footnotes. The time spent wondering how to phrase that thought or whether to rearrange that paragraph, trawling through the thesaurus for that one word that’s at the tip of your tongue… that’s all the same. But there’s an added layer of decoding a mystery, of sifting through clues and, yes, of frustration when those clues don’t lead you anywhere.
And now? I’m nearly done. My dissertation is nearly finished and it’s not due for another three days. I’ve already started spending time on the NaNoWriMo forums in preparation for this year’s Novel Writing Month in November. I have so many books I can read now! The key will be to maintain my momentum and not slack off for the rest of the year. I need to keep up that hustle and publish something. I’ve neglected this blog so badly this year, and I’ve written very little except a couple of poems and The Monstrosity, so I’m looking forward to having the time to really dig into a new draft and keep this old thing updated.
It’s been a good year. But it’s not over yet.