I am reminding myself that there’s no reason to be checking Submittable every two seconds. Reading periods average at around three months long; I’m unlikely to hear from them for a while, and honestly, in my experience, it’s better if they take longer to get back to you. It means they didn’t throw the thing in the rubbish as soon as they read it. You may have made it to the semi-finals, or something. Or that’s what I tell myself.
It feels good to get down to things again. Yesterday I followed the schedule I mentioned the other day, and it worked well. Especially it was good to have a period at the end to sit down and think, OK, here are the magazines with reading periods open. What are they looking for? What can I give them? I wrote down a few characteristics (reading period, submission length, amount paid) in the “Magazines and Resources” section of my little writing filofax, and felt confident enough to have a go and make a submission. It felt pretty good, really, to look at everything with a more businesslike eye, and try for inclusion in magazines. Plus, they pay! And gods know I need the money. Artists aren’t “meant” to care about that sort of thing, I know, but unless you’re in a cold garret in Paris being a “starving artist” isn’t as romantic as it sounds.
An unfortunate matter presents itself in the form of my current novel. The trouble is, there’s a characteristic of the main characters I won’t mention here, but it’s a major aspect of who they are, and it has nothing to do with the story. Nothing. It should have something to do with the story, otherwise why is it there? It’s not related to the theme, it’s not related to their interaction with the other characters other than vaguely, it isn’t related to the plot. And the great problem, for me, is that I love this characteristic. This is why I wanted to write the novel. And the novel ended up not being about that.
As a novel goes, it’s fine. I like the plot, sort of. I like all the characters. But if the main two characters were replaced, the entire thing would be better for it.
I decided this earlier in the shower, and now a conundrum presents itself. Do I take my characters and start over, or do I continue with what I have and replace the characters in draft two? I think I really need to sit down and plan some things out. I need to develop two new characters for the novel-in-progress, and rewrite what I have so far, and then finish it. I know where I’m going, and I have plenty of notes to guide me when the time comes. The book needs different heroes. And Grim needs somewhere to be herself. I need to explore her and her major characteristic in other ways, in short pieces, before starting to construct something worthy of her. I love this girl. I love the themes surrounding her. I want to put them front and centre, to really sort them through in my head and do them justice. This means plotting, which I’ve never been very good at, but I think if I don’t do that here, I’m going to find myself once again with the wrong novel. It’s a perfectly fine novel, with bravery and action and a fight for equality, with beautiful characters whom I love. But it’s not the right novel for Grim. She doesn’t fit in.
She’s much like my Gang of Five, in that sense, but I’ve finally settled on an idea that I think fits them. They’re dreamers, my little troop, and they need a novel in which they are free to dream. I am taking some inspiration from the powerful and raw Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson and letting them tell one another stories. Quite where it will lead them is yet to be seen, but it’s percolating in my brain.
I find myself, all of a sudden, with more novels to write than I knew. This is disconcerting, and I’m not sure where to start.